Living in Israel will challenge your people pleasing tendencies head-on
You may have suspected you engage in PP before, and boy, you could live so much better if you got this out of the way
Confrontation is part of life—and it’s time to face the music! Consider that People-pleasing isn’t kindness; it’s just dodging discomfort
Let’s break it down: How people-pleasing is holding you back—and what to do instead
#1 Not Taken Seriously
You find yourself ignored or not taken seriously when asking for certain concerns to be addressed. Kupat cholim, bituach leumi, the line at the super market. You don’t seem to get the point across, people feel too comfortable with you
Solution: learn to be okay with getting angry or energetic when getting your point across. While an outburst is less ideal, timidity is not appreciated
For starters, DO get angry, it is really okay! From there, learn to dial it back
#2 People Test your Boundaries Often
People pleasers unconsciously attract other people that test their boundaries, from narcissistic individuals to hucksters and villains
Certain people can “sense” a lack of boundaries and latch on to it
Solution: practice your “no” muscle. It can start with something as simple as refusing a social engagement or changing your mind on a plan.
#3 You Stuff Down your Griveances
You have an unconscious reflex that has you invalidating your grievances. From a friend who is chronically late, to a clumsy service provider. You always put up and shut up. You think it’s for the “greater good”
Eventually you end up with a bucket of resentment, and perhaps at some point combust
Solution: respond in a timely manner when things appear ‘off’ to you. It’s totally fine if you aren’t thrilled about everything
